How does literature form me ?

Life itself is like a train which has been started its journey from certain station, and destined to reach the last station- the final destination. These two stations are conformed which can not be denied. But in between these two stations there comes lots of other stations, it stops for a while and then again move on.

In this train before five years I have aboard from the station called literature and now the next station of this train- called life is soon going to come. But before it come let me look back to my experience of this journey, how it was ?, what I have learned from this journey? What kind of changes it has bring?

Let me confess " studying English literature was not my choice but only option for better career," but it is truth I learned from life and from literature that what you like today you may not like sometime after, the same thing happened with me as the time passes I started to like literature.

Let me begin with my early collage days because this all started from there. My initial days with literature were neither good nor interesting but for that at some level I'm responsible and at some level atmosphere in College.

But soon afterwards I understood that hard work is necessary, without which nothing will happen. And I started reading my syllabus texts, the first book I ever read in English was "All My Sons", in those day reading English was like a battle. Since than I have read it for three times it has taught me self-morality which matters more than everything else even than relationships. The second thing it has taught me is universal brotherhoods.

Dr.Jekyll and Mr. Hides taught me age old psycho-conflict in mind of an individual, that a man has two life a social and a personal life. But the problem is that we- the society prefer persons social personality(which may be at a cost of individuals personal life). The same discourse is discussed in 'The Da Vinci Code' -(that we like the Jesus as a god and miracle saint but we do not accept Marry Magdalene as his wife).

Other text in B.A like Tughalaq, Ghashiram Kotwal, and Hairy ape taught me about politics and how it is generated ?  how it is operated in capacity ? And how the o e power is over powered by others? And how the power affects the life of the common people?

Studying English literature had Bring many changes in me. First change it had bring is, it made me different from the common people, and this change has come from ideas. It has changed my way of thinking, after spending five years with literature it has given me so many radical ideas and numberless examples that I easily can put forward my Points and prove it logically. You do not remain the person of the mob as you study the characters the way they behave in certain situations.

Now I do not accept the things the way as they are coming to me, I doubt the thing, then I test it (not necessarily), than accept the thing as they are at the time and not as the final version- In fact this is what unreliable narrator of The Sense of an Ending, The Birthday Party, and White tiger taught. As G.B Shaw has given the phrase "Question, Examine and Test". Doubting everything turns in to question and many times this has created arguments with my family.

My two years In M.A at Department of English M.K.Bhav.Uni. are most fruitful years in the journey of learning. In fact what I have learned In this two years that I could not learn in last so many years.

Here too the syllabus is progressive that we get chance to learn literature of different times and of different culture and different countries. 

The first text 'The Hamlet' of the Shakespeare has taught that " thinking will remains just thinking until you do not put it In to practice.

Dr. Faustus has created a thirst of knowledge In me that I'm always in search of know something more. As Charles Dickens' Oliver Twist asks " I want some more ". And like Faustus I'm always ready to pay cost for it. 

Paradise lost one of the last epic poem by Milton, written during g declining days of Christianity celebrates being human rather than divine, where Adam choose Eve( a human being) over God. But in present society people choose God/religion over human being, and in this process of preferring(giving more importance) religion over human being people has killed many on the name of crusades. If they understood the real core of literature and that of the religion they would never killed a fellow human being. The fact is that humans are more important than god but only few knows the fact.

Let me rewrite that I have studied literature and not only read for the sake of reading only. It was a great experience of studying literature in In department of English. Whenever a new unit or a novel is going to be taught, I read it before It taught in class. And when the same novel is taught by professor Dr.Dilip Barad it meant different, quite new, more convincing, more real-(when he connect with contemporary Issues I amazed by that), and contemporary as compare to my reading. It is that teaching which can hammer me to shape me, mold me to make me fit in the world,  this teaching helped me to imbibe several life skills- which will help me throughout my life.

Reading alone is different because what seems you boring and dull while reading g alone, and you may skip  those parts, but in class those boring, unpleasant, and dull becomes important, because it is there the undercurrents of the societies are captured, the darker sides of society which no one likes to see and discuss the real problems of the society lies there, and literature itself is written to bring attention towards that neglected part of the society. When Arvind Adiga writes about the villages in India and about the dirty Gangs river these parts may not liked by readers. The fake voting and dirty political tricks- which are true even in some villages of Gujarat too. Some times you witness the things but you can not speak at that time you can write as Derrida says

"What cannot be said above all must not be silenced but written."

# one of the bad effect(according to society), that literature has on me is that I become an aethiest. No doubt literature helped me in that, but I also wanted the same . some of the works of literature that has helped me to move towards aethiest. They are... Hairy Ape, Old Man And the Sea, The Da Vinci Code, The Paradise Lost, Waiting for Godot, Animal farm, The white Tiger and some of the poems by American and African poets and philosophy of Albert Camus and Adam Douglas' Restaurant at the end of the Universe.

Literature is centered around human and man-an individual remain at the center. Aethiest like literature gives more importance to an individual rather than god, it doesn't bother for consequences and results.Characters like Christopher Marlow's Dr. Faustus, Adam of Paradise Lost, Hester of The Scarlet Letter, Santiago of the Old man and the Sea, Leigh Tibing  of the Da Vinci Code, and Monty of the Sense of and Ending.. Are highly individualistic characters who lived life on their own ways, and lived marvelously without any kind of fear of any entity. Thieast thing both literature and aethiest favor is Humanism and Humanity.

Literature has cultivated a kind of fearless spirit in me, it has given me boundless confidence in my presence, it carved me to believe in myself, life is at present moment, to enjoy, to live and to work for humanity. Not only these but literature has given me a philosophical insight to look at the outside as well as inside within me.

Now, the so called social construction of religion, of authority, casticism and nationalism do not bother me anymore. There are other grave issues to explore to, to bring out and to discussed and to be solved for the betterment of the society and for the  development of society and universe at large. Only coming out from these so called construction of ones' society one can think of universe- of universal brotherhood, and humanity at large. And in this way literature has mold me .

Let me quote  from Casper Rigsby's blog, this will help to make you understand what literature has taught me

"The question is not what I need to do to get into heaven in the next life, but what I need to do to be happy in this life. For many theists I'm sure this sounds selfish and self- centered, but it really isn't once you understand the answer. You see, like most of us I've found that my happiness is intrinsically tied to others and their happiness. I can not be happy when I make others suffer or allow them to suffer without trying to help. I can not be happy when I have more than I need and others have nothing. I can not be happy when I see injustice and do not speak. In the end, once I understood that answer, I realized that the most selfish thing a person can do is to put the idea of an afterlife above the reality of this life. It is self serving and a complete slap in the face to every experience you have in this life. The goal of a reward or fear of punishment should not be the meaning your life has. "

The psychological study of the characters and the authors teach me to read human minds what a person thinks at a certain situation in life. Why the person is behaving in such a way? Why one likes something and not the other. This allows me to be generous, kind and to sympathies with fellow human being. I learn to be a sympathetic listener, I try to understand their feelings and emotions, and it helps me to save from emotional drowning.

Directly or indirectly literature and Department of English played very crucial role in shaping me. Today whatever I'm is just because of studying literature. It teach me to be what I'm, what I can ? And what should i do ? Literature has given me the meaning of my life, the purpose of my living,  the below quote by the Father of Physics explain everything 

"Every day I remind myself that my inner and outer life are based on the labors of other men, living and dead, and that I must exert myself in order to give in the same measure as I have received and am still receiving".

- Albert Einstein

Thank you literature for making my life worthy and fruitful.